questingqueer:

Forgiveness isn’t a required part of healing for everyone. You aren’t required to forgive someone who abused you or bullied you in the past, even if they’ve changed now. You can start to come to terms with what happened to you and try to cope with it without forgiving the person who did it to you, and not forgiving someone doesn’t make you a bad person. 

Forgiveness is often portrayed as being the right moral choice, but it’s not morally wrong to do what’s best for you and your recovery. Sometimes, forgiveness can actually be detrimental to your healing, and being unforgiving can keep you safe. And some people don’t deserve to be forgiven, no matter how long it’s been.

And finally? Traumatized people shouldn’t be shamed for not forgiving the person who hurt them and instead be allowed to deal with their trauma in whatever way is the most helpful for them.

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